It seems that a social disconnect between women is more prevalent today than ever before. It baffles my mind when I hear women blame each other for injustices. I have never felt so ashamed to be a woman than I have lately. This shame comes solely from the lack of unity; and mentality of women now-a-days.

Its discomforting to know I live in a society where the words “Slut” and “Whore” are so loosely used. A society that blames the attire of women, instead of criminal acts of men. This pathetic notion blames and puts responsibilities off of the criminals and onto the victims. Statistics show that 1 in every 3 women go through some form of sexual or physical abuse by the age of 18. 1 in 3! How many of those cases actually get reported? We as a society are responsible for the fact that less and less women are comfortable coming forward.

I am sick of hearing how a woman’s dress, or how provocative she may act is a factor and reason behind an assault. The choice of being promiscuous doesn’t take away her rights and freedoms. I am tired of hearing “Inviting Circumstances” in arguments defending perpetrators. In February when an assault was reported on York University’s Campus, a Constable from Toronto Police went on record and said his advice for women to avoid sexual assaults is for women to stop “dressing like sluts”. What is this comment really saying to the general public?! How can a constable from TORONTO POLICE, justify a sexual assault by blaming the incident on a women’s choice of dress. That is a freedom we all have, to dress and express how we please. My short skirt and high tops don’t invite harassment or assault. My high hemlines and backless dresses are not saved for times I feel I want to be threatened. That offers no comfort or support to victims of such events. What sort of society justifies an assault on any level?!

I have heard women blame each other time and time again for being victims of abuse. I can’t help but feel disgusted by these truths we are forced to live with. A few colleagues and I were having a discussion of domestic violence and I was in awe when I heard one of them say, “Well, I know that some girls act “up” and deserve to be slapped.” This wasn’t the first time I had heard such ignorance, I have heard these pathetic words time and time again. Every time I do, I can’t help but ask WHAT?! How and when does a women decide that instead of blaming the perpetrator, blaming the victim is justified?! When did women stop caring about fundamental rights and safety of our selves, and each other?!

Somehow, the topic turned into a debate of the ‘oh so’ publicized incident between singers Rihanna and Chris Brown. I couldn’t believe when one of the girls said, and I loosely quote “Rihanna is a strong personality, She probably aggravated him to the point where he lost his temper.” This is the disgust our society spreads. Victim blaming is something I thought we left in the past, but it seems even the “Modern” women of today have these backward values embedded in them. What happened to the revolution our grandmothers fought for? What happened to the bras they burned and the liberation they fought for?! The women of yesterday should feel shame for the women of today, not because we show more, but because we care less.

My question now becomes, how can women here in Canada feel such a disconnect with each other when we have more rights and freedoms than many woman around the world?!

Something to really think about….

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